Our Carp Fishing Vacation to Disneyland

The wives finally put their wifey feet down and demanded a real vacation, free from carp fishing or even the mention of carp fishing. Years of fishins and weekend trips to distant waters searching for the elusive Personal Bests had finally caught up to us, we knew one day we would have to pay the price but this was fishing wife overkill. My long time carp fishing bud Georges wife Penelope and my wife Lulu decided it was time to finally see Disneyland in Florida. I was planning on going to Disney to celebrate after I caught my first forty pounder, a worthy lifelong achievement, but the wives insisted on not waiting for twenty years. With attitudes like that you can see why George and me were not looking forward to this fish-less vacation with big smiles on our faces. Georgess son Stanley was looking forward to seeing Mickey and going on this trip even if we couldn't fish.

A weekend before the big trip George and I met up at one of his hometown swims, he told me he had a surprise. In the back of his carp fishing mobile was a big tube 7 feet long and 1 foot wide. George told me it had held his telescope when it was shipped to him. He had told Penelope that him and Stanley were going to watch some stars at Disneyland late at night when the girls were asleep. Now I finally know why I fish with George, the man is a fishing genius. We each stuffed two long Euro style rods complete with baitrunner reels in the telescope tube. Then George bought out his attachments box which was empty to my surprise, but not for long. We began to stuff it full of sinkers and hooks and hair rigs and bite alarms.

George had even thought about bait all weeklong when he was supposed to be working. Each of our wives knew by heart the smell of our favorite bait flavor, strawberry and banana boilies. In fact, they were in general suspicious of us if we even smelled slightly funny, always blaming us poor fishing husbands for stinking up the house making simple little round red and yellow boilies for carp bait. What George did was to make boilies with a candy shell made from the stuff you put on ice cream as a topping. The protective candy shell would seal all the strawberry and banana smell in the boilies safe from our spouses noses. When it came time to bait up we would just simply lick them off until we reached the boilie inside, actually George had planned on bringing Stanley along for this purpose but Stanley couldn't be let in on the plans just yet.

We panicked at the airport check in when Georges tube and box were x-rayed for contraband, fortunately the wives were not looking at our luggage and were instead gawking at the big airplanes and didn't notice our fishing contraband. We were going to have to be careful, once we neared water at Disneyland the wives would return to their normal vigilance in order to keep us from having any fun fishing. I should mention here that our wives do let us out to play quite often, I sometimes get to fish every weekend in the summer, but a week long trip to a water filled park was just too much of a teaser.

We were glad the wives made us get the Disney vacation video that is free from the Disney webpage, it showed lots and lots of water. As we watched the video with the wives a few small swirls and rises were going on in the background on one of the main lakes, the one with the Pirate ship on it. As me and George studied the video more closely we could make out a tip of a tail sticking just out of the water, a tail unseen by the wives as they cheered for some stupid trick by a babbling parrot. That tail tip was yellow, the kind of yellow only carp have. That tail was the biggest tail we had ever seen. That one second shot of a golden yellow carp tail was going to save us through endless encounters to come with Goofy, Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse. Georges mind had been put into overdrive by the sight of that tail, I was just coming to grips with being at least able to see a carp on my vacation, now with Georges brilliant planning we might be able to catch a few new PBs.

That first morning in Disney we let the wives cruise the shops while we went on a scouting mission. Sure enough huge carp were in the Pirates cove. We got aboard the Pirate ship and eased out to the bow and were delighted to see the backs of huge carp on the prowl from popcorn. George pretended to lean over the railing to take a picture of the carp, and a dozen boilies fell out of his shirt pocket that were immediately eaten by the carp. A few more pictures were taken and a few more boilies were lost. George soon had the carp fighting over the candy shell boilies, looked like we wouldn't have to have Stanley like the shell off of the boilies before we used them after all. Next we wondered over to the log plume ride, big carp swimming around edge looking for popcorn again. This time it was my turn to take some pictures and I kept loosing my boilies from my shirt pocket. A kindly little old lady asked if I was stupid, couldn't I see I was loosing all my candy every time I took a picture? I went along with her little joke even though its hard for me to pretend to be stupid. George said latter it was one of my better performances, almost unbelievably lifelike.

We scouted out a swim that was perfectly hidden. The Pirate ship would hide us from the casual passerby and the back of a theater would protect our rear. We met back up with the wives in the afternoon and spent some quality family time together, though we kept looking skyward to see when the stars would appear. The wives had never seen us so interested in the stars as this and it soon allayed their usual suspicions that would arise whenever George and I are near water with fish swimming around in it. It finally got dark enough for the North Star to shine through and we grabbed Stanley, the scope tube and accessories box and headed out the door to our secret swim.

Once behind the theater we told Stanley he was in for a big surprise. George opened his tube and began to pull out Stanley's favorite rod. The smile on Stanley's face was worth a picture, too bad we were in too much of a hurry to set up to take one. Stanley decided to pre-lick his boilie to get the candy shell off but when we told him to cough it up so that we could bait it up on a hair rig he just smiled and said it had disappeared. So much for using Stanley to pre-lick our boilies. We got baited up and cast out to the bow of the Pirate ship where we had chummed earlier in the day.

Just as we sat back to wait for our new PBs a bunch of Dwarfs came out of the back of the theater. They had come out to the back to have a cigarette break and we thought they looked funny until they realized we were there fishing. The little people walked over to us to ask us what the heck did we think we were doing fishing there. Seems Disneyland if full of antis, at least in its shortest population. The midgets started to verbally abuse Georgerick and me while on the other had they did tricks for Stanley. If you have never had the pleasure of being abused by Dwarfs, then you can't appreciate how funny it is. We laughed until our sides ached. Then they got annoying real fast, running under our rods so that the pointed tops of their hats would hit the lines causing the bite alarms to beep. Georgerick reached down and picked up a Dwarf and was about to go for three points over the bow of the Pirate ship when he got a huge screaming run. With the effort known only to those that are sure that they have hooked into a new PB George dropped the Munchkin and lunged at his rod. The bite alarm scared the Elves and George's vicious leap to his rods backed them up a dozen feet. George struck to sink the hook deep into the mighty jaws of his new PB, only in the excitement and his present state of annoyance he struck too hard and the line snapped causing his rod to whip backwards, hitting up to fives Elves in one shot. The Elves fled back to the protection of the theater before George could make good on his Elf punting practice.

Thing settled down and George cast out again and we started to laugh ourselves silly when Stanley started to mimic the Elves. He stopped his show when his alarm sounded and with precision and skill brought a new PB of 23 pounds to the net. Now this was more like it, we knew we were going to catch lots of BFCs here tonight. We took some pictures of Stanley's new PB and even let him lick another boilie as a reward. Then Snow White appeared behind us with Mickey Mouse dressed in a cop uniform. If we thought the Dwarfs were anti you could stack them all together and not get the fury of one mean Snow White. I had never been berated by a mouse in a cop uniform and couldn't take this seriously until Mickey whipped out a real cop baton. We dunked Mickey and Snow White into the drink and in one quick move shoved rods and tackle in the tube and got the heck out of there. The wives were surprised to see us back so soon, we complained of cloud cover.

The next day dragged on and on. The only highlight was a new swim we spotted while on top of Witch Mountain. Even from that lofty height you could easily see huge carp swimming lazily just under the surface. We walked over to the new swim that was behind what appeared to be some costume changing rooms. This swim had plenty of bushes for concealment. Even so we decided to turn the bite alarms down some, we don't like to do that especially not with potential new PBs swimming around. We dumped in some more boilies and trimmed a few bushes that would get in our way, George always includes a bush pruner in his ready bag. It finally got dark enough and we again grabbed Stanley and the tube and went to our newest secret swim.

The carp were everywhere in our new swim looking for boilies. We let Stanley slingshot some more boilies out while we got set up. As happens with kids sometimes, Stanley let out a wild shot in trying to see how far he could get one out. The candy shells surprisingly made the boilies very aerodynamic and it zipped through the night air. Then we heard it hit a Goofy character in the head and bounce off. That hard candy shell also makes for one deadly boilie as it put old Goofy right on the ground. He got up and rubbed his big head in a comical fashion and began to look up as if Big Bird had just pooped on his head. We laughed again even as we disarmed Stanley.

We had just gotten set up for the night when along comes a whole troop of Disney characters including Goofy with a knot on his head and six different Mickeys. I had never seen so many mice in one place before. Leading the pack was Snow White. They were scouting the edges of the lake for us. We hunkered down and pulled some of the brush George had trimmed over our gear and remained quite in the bushes as the mob passed. Just then I had a screaming run. I jumped out of my bush and grabbed my rod. The thought of a new PB getting away instantly erased my previous concerns, which is almost always a bad thing. Goofy, Snow White and the hoard of Mickeys were soon upon us. I was fighting my new PB as I was fending off three Mickeys at one time. George was holding his own and then the Dwarfs showed up and began to kick him in the shins. Stanley got into the fray and began to take out Dwarfs with the efficiency of any American kid. Things were getting tough, I still had my new PB on but weaving among the Disney crowd was getting on my nerves. Then the Donald Ducks showed up and started to peck me on the head as my massive new PB began to roil the surface with his huge tail. I flattened one Donald Ducks beak just to have another take his place. This was getting a little ridiculous. My line brushed gently across Snow Whites crown and neatly parted with the usual sound of a bullet being fired. That was it, I had just lost what had to be a new PB and I didn't even get to see it.

With the strength known only to those whom have just lost a PB of a lifetime I spread my arms wide and tackled the whole bunch of Mickeys and Donalds in one rush, forcing them over the brink and into the drink. We packed up one more time with the efficiency we were beginning to learn while fishing in Disneyland. There were too many of them this time and they helped each other out of the water as were we beginning our retreat from yet another swim full of huge carp. We couldn't abandon our carp fishing tackle or even Stanley to make our getaway and were soon apprehended by a soaking wet bunch of Mickey Mouses, Donald Ducks and an even more irate Snow White and her eleven soaking wet Dwarfs.

Justice is quick in Disneyland, we were asked to leave. We refused, knowing how many carp we had seen swimming around there that we hadn't caught yet. They showed us their real un-Disney-like batons and real holding cell and we accepted their offer. When they bought the wives to the pokey to get me, George and Stanley out, actually they didn't put Stanley in a cell, the let him play with the Dwarfs, we saw the looks on their faces and begged for sanctuary. Those Disney types are not a friendly bunch after all, they gave us back to our wives. Stanley of course wouldn't share in our punishment and it was a long long ride back home in the airplane. Turns out were are the only families to ever have been kicked out of the park since it opened, an accomplishment George and me thought worthy of the trip but which failed to impress the non-fishing spouses. It looked like it might be a while before we got to fish together again so we parted at the airport and took our wives back home. The vacation seemed to have taken a lot out of the wives but I was actually ready to consider going back to Disneyland again, if only I hadn't been banned for life. A package arrived a few days later, in it were the pictures we had taken of Stanley's newest PB. Well, the trip hadn't been a total loss after all!

By Oatmeal Jack, March 2000, Potomac River, MD, USA

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